20 February, 2013

11 months


Just sitting in the airport, my kids at home. There is an ache in my breast that is more than my heart. Yesterday was the last day I nursed my baby boy, my little man.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled to be headed to Austin. Hubby is by my side (wondering why I'm blogging on our layover). The kids are home with Baba in baking heaven. I get to wear necklaces again, like mine from here and here. And I'm going to QuiltCon. Hello!?

But I nursed my baby boy for the last time yesterday. We shared a fleeting moment in the pre-dawn light, our last gathering in the dark, skin to skin. I can't admit to loving nursing, but I have loved the relationship it builds. That I am so needed, that we have something no one else can lay claim to. But he's a mobile, curious creature now. He's got more important things to check out (like his sisters) and greater things to eat. 

Seriously greater things, he has well earned his nickname of The Garbage Truck.

So I kissed him softly in the middle of the night as we tiptoed out of the house on our way to airport. If you see me this weekend, hug me gently or just slap my butt, because there is an ache in my breast.

14 comments:

Lynda Otvos said...

Knowing the feeling; weaning my last baby was the hardest emotional experience of that decade--and it was a full time of life, yet a tear still falls for the loss of that aspect of our love.

beth lehman said...

such a moment of melancholy. i distinctly remember making the decision with each of mine that this was the last time. even more so when it was the last one. i didn't always love it either, but know it was worth it. xoxo to you, mama.

Andrea said...

So beautifully written....hang in there!

Lee D said...

I remember that feeling too. Hope you don't hear any crying babies, if you know what I mean! Enjoy Quilt Con.

Katie @SwimBikeQuilt said...

So, I have a baby qift for that 11 month old baby that I've been meaning to mail since... June! Its teeny tiny. I'll stick it in my suitcase and give it to you at the mqg mixer/meeting.

And such a sweet post, by the way. Garbage Truck and all.

Anonymous said...

Why can't you just nurse him when you get back? He is too young to wean!

sulu-design said...

Awww... thanks for the mention! And I hope that ache in your chest goes away soon. Don't listen to the comment above mine - the decision of when and how is all yours.

Sonia B said...

I agree with "sulu-design", ignore that anonymous comment. What a tender post and from those of us that have been there, we feel your pain. Take care.

Jody said...

Totally understand Cheryl! Nursing can be beautiful and challenging all at the same time! Don't worry we'll all give you a hug and slap you on the butt!!!

See you soon....sitting at the airport waiting for my flight....I'm beyond excited!! Aghhhh....

Carla said...

Have a wonderful time at Quiltcon! I remember that last nursing well with my boys, too, and the wonderful optimism of new and continued ways to bond your love.

Sarah said...

I understand! My youngest weaned himself at 10 months, and whilst I didn't mind not feeding anymore, I missed the closeness of mother and child that I'll never have again. Lucky he's still a cuddly Mummy's boy aged 4! I tell him he has to always want to cuddle his mum like he does now. He says yes!

rex said...

Hmmmm....perhaps he is going to miss that third nipple?! Does this mean you have three breasts??

Live a Colorful Life said...

What a sweet picture...and post.

Nikadamaja said...

I think you can be really proud of yourself. I still love the idea my 2 girls were growing so much on just my milk.